“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” – unknown
Have you ever deliberately stopped to think about this quote? “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” The people that we surround ourself have a profound influence on the life we live. Have you thought about that? Entrepreneur Jim Rohn says that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” With that in mind, we should be intentional about who we spend our time in and how we are influenced.
I’ve said this many times before and I’ll say it many times again: Positivity breeds positivity, and negativity breeds negativity. Everyone has had co-workers that light the room up when they enter and others that light up the room when they leave. Now start thinking beyond that one person… because usually there isn’t just one. They usually have a friend or two or three that tend to follow and echo what their leader is saying. It doesn’t matter if it is good or bad, they pile on top of whatever their center of influence is saying and follow that lead. What category do you fit into? If you aren’t completely sure, what category do your friends fit into? Are they brightening the world everywhere they go or are they carrying with them a rain cloud? Are they building people up and bringing positivity to situations or are they putting them down and always view things through a negative lens? Is your group breeding more positivity or negativity?
If you aren’t satisfied with where you are at, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge that you need to make a change. Once you’ve done that, it’s time to actually make the change and move forward into a more positive and more successful world! Here are a few tips to help you surround yourself with positive people and live a more positive and successful life.
Choose Friendships Wisely
[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]How we face adventures in life define us.[/pullquote]One of the real adventures in life is developing lasting friendships with people. Some of these friendships come through shared experiences, others come from an encounter where something just clicked. At the end of the day, every relationship is a choice. It is a choice that shouldn’t just be taken for granted. Friendships of convenience don’t always equate healthy friendships. Choose friendships and relationships that build you up, believe in you, and encourage you. These are the people who see the glass half full and not half empty. These are people who see potential in others and and hope for the best for people.
Recognize that nobody is perfect and as you are choosing who you will spend your time everyone will have peaks and valleys. How we face adventures in life define us. You want people that are defined by positivity, encouragement, and supportiveness.
Be Someone You’d Choose
You are not just a passenger on this wild ride of life. You are a driver. The choices you make today influence the person you become tomorrow. While it is important to surround yourself with people that will lift you up, you also need to be a person who does the same for others. You want to be someone that attracts the people that you want to surround yourself.
Live by the “no put down rule.” Yes, it sounds silly but it really does make a huge difference. Don’t put people down, build them up. Ask those who you are close with to keep you accountable to this. Ideally, you are surrounding yourself with positive people who will encourage you to not put people down and not use it as an opportunity to jump all over you.
Choose to see the positive in situations. There are always two sides to every coin. Sometimes it is very easy to see the positive side, others not so much. Practice seeing the positive in the obvious. Then when it is harder to find positive you have built the discipline of looking for the positive and will be looking for the positive and not the negative.
Build others up. Practice encouraging others. People will notice a difference in you and you will notice a difference in people.
Culture is King
Culture is incredibly important. Imagine garden with the best seeds in the world with the best fertilizer and the best gardner. It has the perfect amount of sunlight and gets watered the perfect amount. In fact, it is getting everything it needs to thrive. Unfortunately, the soil is toxic and nothing will grow. It is incredibly hard to positively succeed in a toxic environment. Pick an environment to grow and succeed in that is conducive to growth and success (be looking for things mentioned above basically).
If you find yourself stuck in a toxic or stagnant environment, perhaps it is time to make a change. Change is hard. However, if you have surrounded yourself with positive people it becomes an adventure and not a punishment. They will build you up and support you as you are moving into a more positive environment.
What Price Will You Pay?
Everything has a cost. Each choice you make will have to be paid for. The choice of surround yourself with positivity has a cost but will lead to new adventures, new outcomes, new positive friendships, and more success. The choice to be surrounded with negativity will have a cost as well. It is a cost that includes stagnation and negativity… and perhaps even failure.
The choices you make today influence the person you are tomorrow. The friendships you make today will also do the same. Every choice has a cost, what choice will you make? What environment are you going to create for yourself? I encourage you to choose the positive one and then invest in your choice and your people. You will happier, healthier, more successful, and have a great adventure along the way!